It’s important to understand that while honor is an entitlement to respect–and shame comes when you lose that title–a person of honor cares first of all not about being respected but about being worthy of respect. Someone who just wants to be respected won’t care whether he is really living up to the code; he will just want to be thought to be living up to it. … For the honorable person, honor itself is the thing that matters, not honor’s rewards.
To care for your honor is to want to be worthy of respect. If you realize you have done something that makes you unworthy, you feel shame whether or not anyone is watching.
One day, people will find themselves thinking not just that an old practice was wrong and a new one right but that there was something shameful in the old ways. In the course of the transition, many will change what they do because they are shamed out of an old way of doing things. So it is perhaps not too much to hope that if we can find the proper place for honor now, we can make the world better.